populardad:

there is a difference between people who are smart and people who get good grades

(Source: brotherblaze, via sleeping-teen)

“why” “because i said so” good one mom you should be a lawyer

(via sleeping-teen)

intoasylum:

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marvel (part 2) | text posts

(via nerd-downunder)

snatchedweaves:

That look ur mom gives u when u embarrass her in public but she can’t kill u yet

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(via sleeping-teen)

the members of an orchestra

  • violins I: we're the superstars fuck everyone else its all about us
  • violins II: why do we always get the boring parts
  • flutes: we're so lonely
  • piccolo: lol fk your ears
  • french horns: and im not even french hONHONHON BAGUETTE
  • oboes: IM SORRY I TUNED BEFORE I SWEar
  • violas: evERYONE ALWAYS FKUCING FRORGETS ABOUT US
  • trumpets: wats 'p'
  • trombones: wats quiet
  • cellos: im either boring af or exciting af and there is no in between
  • bassoons: im so posh but i really just honk like a truck
  • clarinet: *squeaks*
  • timpani: EVERYONE LOVES ME BOM BOM BOM BOM BOM BOM BOM
  • bass clarinet: lol where am i
  • tuba: *waits for a wagner piece to do something exciting*
  • harp: im just a more sophisticated piano
  • piano: FUCK YOU HARP I GET CONCERTOS WRITTEN FOR ME SCREW EVERYTHING WHO NEEDS AN ORCHESTRA WHEN YOU CAN PLAY EVERYTHING ON ME IM THE STAR OF EVERYTIHNG
  • english horn: im literally only useful for dvorak's 9th like what am even i doing here
  • basses: semibreves, tied to a semibreve, tied to a minim, tied to a crotchet, oh wait a quaver wow exciting ok back to semibreves
  • cornets: trumpet wannabe
  • cymbals: BOOM CRASH CRASH CRASH CRASH IM SRO HAPYP CRASH CRAHS
  • xylophones: am i meant to be here?
  • triangles:
  • bass drum: MY TIME TO SHINE FUCK YOU ALL

gavinscreamingmichaelyelling:

time-is-a-many-splendored-thing:

douglasmurphy:

rainbowcoffin:

c-h-0-w:

nightwife:

Always reblog

Woah

well he really should have worn more protective clothing if he didn’t want that to happen
sounds to me like he was asking for it

Are we really sure he was actually shot and decapitated? Idk, sounds like something he would’ve made up. Guys make false decapitation accusations all the time, you know. 

If he didn’t want to be decapitated, he shouldn’t have worn a shirt that showed off his neck

I mean, not all woman decapitate people. I’m not like that.

(Source: suzziepsyche, via nerd-downunder)

tahthetrickster:

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i cant believe this

(Source: ellendegeneres, via drownmewithbooks)

baeddelbludd:

LIFE HACK: disguise your nervous breakdown as a series of jokes

(Source: autogynephile, via humorking)

totheinternetandbeyond:

wecanbreatheinouterspace:

totheinternetandbeyond:

I lost the cap to a soda bottle

Then you’re fucking stupid. If you can’t drink a soda without a cap, then you’re fucking stupid. 

LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT. I COULDN’T FIND THE CAP TO AN ALMOST FULL 2 LITER BOTTLE OF DIET COKE. I WASN’T ABOUT TO DRINK THE WHOLE GOD DAMN THING ON THE SPOT. I DONT EVEN LIKE DIET COKE THAT MUCH. IF I PUT IT IN THE FRIDGE IN THE BOTTLE IT WOULD HAVE GONE FLAT SO DONT FUCKING CALL ME STUPID I AM THE FUTURE

(via dutchster)

steambot-timelord:

ashkenazi-autie:

eileenthequeen:

eileenthequeen:

So apparently in my sister’s class, there was a trans girl that had been on the cheerleading squad for a while. When she came out, the other girls on the squad made the agreement that whatever boy made fun of her would never get a date. And if you think that’s not the most metal girl alliance ever, you can sit down.

Wow, 500 notes

Girls protecting girls.

GIRLS PROTECTING GIRLS

(Source: passive-aggressiveprincess, via chillplanet)

poutyowl:

i am perfectly fine with having other people sit on my lap but i can’t sit on other people’s laps because i’m always paranoid that i’d crush them and they’d diE

(Source: prismaticpeonies, via chillplanet)

  • me to all my friends: YOU CAN DO IT. YOU MAKE YOUR OWN LIFE. LET'S DO THIS TOGETHER. COME ON!!!
  • me to myself: you fucking piece of shit you will amount to nothing nothing is worth it your feelings are irrational go sleep for 22 hours

so i was in the bus with this granny by my side when we spotted two girls kissing by the bus stop. the granny turned to me and said “these girls are so pretty. at their age i was pretty ugly. well, maybe that’s why i had to marry a man” i almost died omg

(Source: sixelya, via chillplanet)

asian:

If you think about it potatoes don’t really get all that much credit

they’re fucking awesome

this one thing here

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can be made into:

different variations of fries

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regular,

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curly,

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waffle.

It can be made into chips

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or ruffly 

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you can make hashbrowns with it

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even a salad

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add some fuckin cheese to those potatoes

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you can have it sliced and diced

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or baked

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you can make tater tots

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hell you can even eat the skin

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or just have little potato nuggets

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thank u potatoes

potato appreciation post

(Source: stoner-dad, via chillplanet)