"How are your grades?"
"What are you majoring in?"
"Have you got a girlfriend?"
"What do you want to do when you graduate?"
TINY TURTLE INVESTIGATORS: THE CASE OF THE LARGE STRAWBERRY
GOOD MORNING EVERYONE
“HAVE YOU TRIED BALANCING ON IT”
“YES OF COURSE I TRIED BALANCING ON IT JENKINS THIS IS NOT MY FIRST DAY AS A TINY TURTLE INVESTIGATOR”
(Source: animalkingd0m, via dutchster)
Dear Mom and Dad,
This is what happiness looks like. Sorry you were so miserable in your own lives that you couldn’t allow me a chance at my own. I went out and found it anyway. I miss you, and will miss you even more this holiday season since you won’t allow me to come back home unless I have a woman on my arm. Oh by the way, we’ll still be using the family recipe for the stuffing, I’m sure it’ll be a hit with our friends.
Your son, his boyfriend, and our spoiled cat
this deserves a million notes omfg
(Source: queerone, via wtfphan)
there’s always those neighbour countries that sort of hate each other like new zealand and australia, britain and france, the rest of the world and america
sorta wanna die sorta wanna kiss you sorta wanna get my shit together sorta wanna lose twenty pounds in a month??
(Source: punkleaf, via officialrnaybelline)
reblog if your dick is longer than your arm
(Source: akailolita, via humorking)
You are not some kind of a saint because you “still think women are beautiful” without makeup on. You do not get brownie points for not being disgusted by women in their natural state. Some women wear a little makeup, some women wear a lot, some women wear none at all and men’s opinions about it are less than worthless. Because we don’t fucking wear it for you.